Why I Didn't Want a Long List of Women

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We all know a "Romeo", "Casanova" or a "Ladies Man" who has filled many little black books with the names and numbers of his numerous conquests. You've heard his untold stories and may have seen his pictures that reveal the most "prim and proper" girls doing things that are not so prim or proper!

When you're a keen adolescent, these guys really do appear to have super powers, but I'm yet to live long enough to see the long term benefits of this endless acquisition. However what I have been exposed to is a father who met my mother at the age of 8 years old and has been committed to loving her and his 8 children for over 40 years and growing up in that environment made me realise one thing; I Want That! 

Growing up I realised that everyday was not going to be perfect but with love at the core and a commitment to never give up, we have the ability to nurture beautiful things out of life that happens to benefit everyone for the better. The more I gravitated towards this desire for myself, the more disinterested I became with devaluing women to impress friends.  

I Wanted To Set A Good Example

I have always wanted to set a good example for my younger brothers and my sisters. I never wanted my brothers to think that it was ok to be "involved" with a different girl every month and I certainly didn't want my sisters to think that it would be ok for them to be apart of some other guy's long list of women. I also wanted to give my partner a chance to be respected without any preconceived ideas about her based on a string of past girlfriends. 

Warning: I'm about to compare women to food for a second. This is just for the purpose of an example so no hate mail from any women please!! I love women, I love my daughter and I love my wife more than food it self! lol! Now back to the point at hand.

When you go to a restaurant you tend to have to look at the items on the menu, assess the contents and the combination of ingredients that would possibly make up a dish of your preference, before requesting the meal of your choice. Funnily enough, this is my approach to finding a woman!

Yes, there are so many different women that look very appetising, however I like to take the time to assess the ingredients that make up the ensemble, that is 'my choice' of woman. I like to get a rounded feel for a woman's character; her background. her motivation, temper, attitude to life, cooking, motherly skills, how well would she gel with my family? And lastly, I would want to find out if I could see this woman as someone that would be with me for the long run (often referred to as marriage material). Once I can tick those boxes off through conversation, interaction and observation, I'm ready to pursue a relationship with a view to bring her home to meet my family at some point in the near future.


I Wanted To Demonstrate My Ability To Make Good Choices

Now, when you bring a woman home to meet the family, what you're really saying is "Look at what I was able to find." in hope that your family will agree with you and affirm your choice of woman.

When we do not take the time to choose a woman responsibly, the message we unfortunately send to our family is, "She looks good, fulfils my physical needs at the moment, but I haven't bothered to find out too much about her. Tell me if you think she is good for anything more long term".

This shows a lack of maturity and lets others know that you do not have your own filtering process that reaches beyond your superficial needs. This is why it was in my wife's best interest that I did not take many women home to meet my family before she had the opportunity to meet them, as it would have been hard for my family to be able to take her seriously on the basis that my past decisions would have given the impression that I wasn't too serious about the women I brought home. So it was very important that I demonstrated my abilty to filter, make good decisions and give my future partner a fighting chance with my parents.


I Wanted To Find A Good Thing And Hold On To It!

I reckon that if I gave a woman some money and asked her to pick one item of clothing from the shopping mall her process would look something like this:

  1. She would go to all of her favourite stores first. 
  2. Take a trip to all of the other stores in hope that she just might find a gem that no one may have seen (because not many people visit these stores). 
  3. She would select some of the best items at each store before doing the tour again, just to make sure that she hasn't missed anything. 
  4. A mental list of her top 3 items would be at the forefront of her mind as she makes her way to the first item that caught her eye. If the first item on her mental list is still available she would confidently purchase it feeling secure that she had bought the most suitable item within her budget. If the first item she had in mind was sold out, she would move onto to buy the option number two. 
  5. If what she wants is available by time she has made her final decision, a purchase is made by a very happy customer. 

Now! On the other hand most guys have a shopping trip that looks a lot like this:

  1. Visits the stores that are in his direct path.
  2. Locate the first item that suits him well, with no temptation to look in any further stores.
  3. The purchase is made.

This is no different to my personal approach to finding a woman. I have met many different women, but once I found the right one that had the things that I look for in a woman, I did not need to 
look any further.


It Just Gets Messy!

The messy thing about creating a long lists of "has beens" that many guys seem to forget whilst trying to boost their macho creditability is, unlike a receipt of previously bought items, women are not lifeless objects. Women talk a lot, never seem to forget and have emotions. And if you happen to end on bad terms, they can make your future relationships hell to deal with. A man who has a bad reputation with women can also make their partner feel very insecure and a relationship without trust is like a car without petrol.  

In my opinion, it really is not worth the hassel.



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