Treating your lady with Respect?

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Pull out her chair, stand up when greeting her and walk her to the door at the end of a date. These are just a few standard tips that most men were taught from a young age. As I have grown older however, I've discovered that whilst these surface level acts of 'respect' are a great starting point for every man to learn, there are a few other ways to ensure you're treating your woman with respect. So without any further ado, here's 5 ways to ensure you're treating your lady with respect.

 

1. Know when to leave her place

There is nothing more awkward than overhearing your partner being told by either her parents or someone over the phone that it may be a bit too late for you to be over and the time has come for you to leave their house, as you anticipate their message being relayed back to you as if it were the first time you'd heard it. lol! My father always advised me to make sure that I never had to be asked to leave a girlfriends house. "10pm is a good marker" my dad would always say.  So as I was growing up, if I ever saw that it was coming up to 10pm then I knew that it was time to start wrapping up whatever I was doing and prepare to say my goodbyes. This is just one example however, having rules like this (and sticking to it) is a great, practical, outward display of respecting her boundaries. By simply overstaying your welcome, you risk sending out a bad message to her and her parents. This displays your lack of discipline, awareness , respect for her boundaries and may cause the your partner and her parents to question what other boundaries you happy to disrespect?

 

2. Support her existing commitments

It's rare to find a woman who's only desire in life is to serve your every need. Just as us men have committed to fulfilling other pursuits outside of our relationship like career goals, life long dreams and so forth, so is the case for women also. I remember when my wife and I were working within the banking industry and she had decided that she wanted to move up within the business. When she originally asked me about my thoughts I answered in haste and showed my true colours. I told her that I thought that her progression would get in-between our relationship as she would now be a Bank Manager and would have less time for me. It's not my most proudest moment and I cringe when I look back over this point in my life as I really showed my insecurities and lack of love and support. Knowing that this was her plan before she had even met me, I was still actually willing to hold her career back base on very selfish reasons that were disguised as being within both of our interest. Had the shoe been on the other foot, I may not have even asked for her thoughts on the matter and would have simply told her once I had been given the position. I recently finished a book call the Alchemist and it says "love never keeps a man from pursuing his Personal Legend" and I guess it works both ways. My wife did go on to become a successful Bank Manager. If you love someone then you will respect and support their commitments, ambitions and dreams.  

By supporting her existing commitments you are able to show that you honour and respect that there are things that she will want to do in life and that if she'd not been with you, would have accomplished. You may not directly benefit from what she has committed to however, support anyway 

 

3. Consider how you affect her emotions

It's always a strong warning signal if the girl that you are with starts feeling and acting negatively to situations now that you’re around. A good question to ask your self is: “Am I bringing the best out of her and leading her to a positive place?” or “Is my presence proving to be a destructive force in her life?” Is she drama free or did you bring the drama? 

A relationship is meant to be about 2 people who are working to build each other up to be the best that they can be however, if you start your relationship off by having a negative effect on her emotions then it will lead her down a road of resentment and a longing to go back to how things used to be… before you came on the scene. 

 

4. Be who you say you are

I heard someone say that if a man opens the car door for his women then he’s either got a new car or a new woman. Now, as much as this statement gave me a laugh, it reminded me that a lot of us men are culprits for doing this. We do our greatest impression of someone else's best and then put that on the table as our own. As if this is what we do all day every day. I discovered the hard way that this is a hard act to keep up. To be “that guy” all the time requires you to actually be "that guy". By pretending to be someone that you're not, not only do you cheat your partner out of experiencing the 'real you' but you also do yourself a disservice by building her expectations base on something that you are unable to consistently reach. This is not a true representation of who you are. 

 
By simply being who you say you are shows that you respect your woman enough to allow her the chance to make an informed decision as to if YOU really are the type of guy that she would like to be in a long term relationship with. You also display a level of confidence that says “I’m putting my cards on the table… this is me”. You’re not pretending to be someone else or trying to be type of guy that most girls go for, you’re just being you, and that's admirable. By being who you say you are, not only do you show respect for your lady but you also display a level of respect and confidence in yourself and nothing gets a woman going more than when a man has a bit of self confidence. 

 

5. Ensure that you're working to the same goals

When I first started spending time with my now wife she came out and asked me “What are you trying to get out of us spending time together because I don’t need any more friends.” Now I can’t lie I was knocked for six when I was posed with this question as I was hoping to just play it cool, let her get to know me a bit and then wait for the right moment to go for the kill. Nonetheless, I made my intentions very clear and then we had a clear goal that we were both working towards from then on, marriage. 

If I had known that she was looking for something long term however that was not a part of my plans then I would be being dishonest by leading her to believe that there was anything more than a short term fling. By knowing what each other want out of and more importantly, wish to put into the relationship, you're able to respect her invested time and feelings by having an understanding of the end goal from early on in the relationship. Once you get this out on the table then an informed choice can be made from both 

 

YOUR THOUGHTS

Do you put any check points in place to make sure you're always treating your lady with respect? Do tell!


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