Things to Think About Before Bringing Her Home to Meet The Parents

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This may sound old fashioned but in 2014, I still believe that the idea of bringing a girl to the family house to meet the parents should only be reserved for that special lady. Someone who has made it through the filtering process you've put in place to help you decide whether you'd like to commit to your partner for the long term.

I'm not sure of the benefits that come with the "show and tell approach" however I can say that it does not add to your creditability as a man and it also highlights a slight disinterest for taking the responsibility of being a good role model seriously.

Before bringing a girl home, I would always ask myself a few key questions before considering to send an invite. Some would say 'Dude! You're really over thinking this' but I really don't think I am.

Think about it for a second! Bringing a female home to meet your family is a way for you to demonstrate that you are good at making good choices. My mum always used to say that she was not interested in meeting every girl that me and my brothers wanted to date. She was only interested in getting to really know someone that we are trying to settle down with. So I knew from a young age to only bring someone home if I had serious intentions of a long term commitment as oppose to wasting everyones time and efforts. When you bring a woman home what you are really doing is: 

  1. Getting your family's approval.
  2. Getting them to invest their time to get to know this girl who is of interest to you. 
  3. Demonstrating that you are capable of making good choices.

There are 3 main things that I'd tend to think about before bringing a woman home. It's important that as men we take the time to think and filter independently before placing an expectation on others to do the same on our behalf. 

Here are 3 questions I would often ask myself before concluding as to whether I should introduce a woman to my family or not. 

Why Am I Bringing Her Home?

Why do I want her to meet the family? Do I simply want to inform others of my taste in a woman's physical appearance? Have I really had enough time to evaluate her other qualities or is it all based on sheer aesthetics? Is this serious? Does she live up to my expectation of what I would like my wife to be or is she just a trophy?

Bringing a woman home that does not match up to your long term goals says more about you than you think! It shows off a shallow side to you that would also alert your family members to the fact that you are not quite ready for a serious relationship yet and you do not appear to respect or value your family's time.  


What Outcome Do I Expect?

What do I expect to gain from bringing her home? Do I expect her to get along with my family? Do I want to receive approval from my parents?  Or will this just be a respectful introduction to the family as I already know they will not approve of her? Am I expecting a pat on the back, well done or am I hoping that this girl will be able to form her own relationships with key members of my family?

It's important to have an idea of the type of results you are looking for. Knowing this information will add purpose to your actions and help you prep both your girlfriend and family regarding what they should hope to get out of the encounter.


Are We Both In The Same Place?

One of the final questions I would think about is... Is she where I'm at? Is she aware of what I want out of the relationship and does she want the same?

There is nothing more awkward than being "grilled" by your family only to reveal that you and your girlfriend have two very different pictures of what your relationship is about. It can send a very confusing message to your family if you have lead them to believe your partner is interested in marriage only to find out that the very thought of the word marriage completely puts her off of her food!  


If you or girlfriend only view your relationship as "a bit of fun", I would really ask you to consider why it is so imperative for her to meet the family. 


Should bringing a partner home to meet the family still be a big deal?

Do you have a few more questions that would be handy to add to the filtering process?

Leave a comment and share your thoughts. 

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