5 Things Guaranteed To Tick Her Off

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We've all done it. Yep! Some more than other but we've all DONE and still DO it! We all have a habit of doing that one thing (or many things) that tick our wives off! Sometimes the effort required not to tick her off is often hard to keep up. For some, all you need to do is breath in the same room and you're under her skin. Believe it or not, I, EuGene Jordan suffer from this problem too and after almost 10 years deep into my marriage with my wife, I still get things wrong... like a lot... repeatedly! Life would be much easier if I had figured it all out already, but, I haven't. Until that day comes, I'm on a journey just trying to figure out how to avoid some of the predicaments I often find myself in. In fact, it was a "predicament" with my dear lady that inspired me to write this very article.

After having a little "debate" (argument) with my wife that successfully frustrated the hell out of her, she walked away and said, "Why don't you write about 10 things that wind up your wife and put THAT in a blog!!" So! I thought I'd take up the challenge. lol!   

So... at my wife's very sarcastic request, here are 5 (sorry I couldn't find 10) things that are guaranteed to tick your woman off, coupled with a few ideas and steps that will help us transform into a slightly more bearable husband. Here goes:    



Zone Out When She Is Talking    

I've had many conversations with my wife where whilst she's been talking I've been busy, either thinking about the points that I want to mention after she's done, or daydreaming about what I could be doing rather than having this conversation right now! When I've done this it's never worked in my favour. I've missed vital information that may have helped develop my marriage and even myself. This is a sure way, guaranteed to frustrate any woman because rather than just focusing on listening to exactly what she’s trying to say, our focus becomes very insular. When a man's focus is insular, the opportunity to fully engage with his wife is truly missed. (Tweet this!) I've now learned that it's so important to be fully engaged and locked into what she’s saying. I've also heard of some guys take the time to even clarify what they’ve just heard to make sure they are on the right track. I'm not particularly good at multi-tasking so if you're like me and the TV is on... switch it off. If you're currently on the computer doing work or social networking, turn the volume off and walk away. Leave your phone in a different room. Whatever needs to be done to make sure she has ALL of your attention... just do it! Trust me when I say, It pays off in the long run!   



Tell Your Kids Off For Copying You    

I can't count the number of times I've been given that look when I've told my daughter off for doing the exact same stuff that I've done (and still continue to do...I know! I'm a hypocrite). I know that she is likely to copy most of what I do. That's essentially how children learn. Knowing this fact, I make a conscious effort to not use foul language, however, my "F word" is "flip" and even though there's nothing offensive about this word it's not something that I'm necessarily comfortable with hearing my 6-year-old daughter use it. That being said, my daughter and I had a frank conversation where she confessed that she had only said "flip" once and will not say it again, however, she explained that it's very hard not to say things when she always hears me using the same words. It was almost as if she grew up about 20 years just to put me in my place before returning back to the tender age six again. Anytime I tell her off for something that she has copied/learned from me, I can hear my wife's voice in the background silently asking "I wonder where she gets that from?" It's important to understand that our children only imitate the lives they're exposed to. (Tweet this!) So we can't get angry at them for copying our actions. The only person we should be mad at is ourselves because we're expecting our children to follow our command rather than our examples. For every time a woman witnesses her man leading his children with words and not actions, a little piece of respect is chipped away. When our wives use the term "You're just like your father" to our children, they actually want this to be a positive statement and we can make that happen. By making sure that our words are in alignment with our actions we can take more responsibility for setting a better example for our children. responsibility for setting a better example for our children.    



Think Of "Your" Money As Your Own    

Whether you have a joint income or you're the sole provider, never think of your money as your own. I became the sole provider in my home when my wife made a sacrifice to put her career on hold to become the primary educator of our daughter. Both of our roles are very important as one cannot be done without the other, however, sometimes I have referred to my income as my own and have also spent without consideration for whether my daughter or my wife have any requirements. I'm the first to hold both my hands up and admit that I was quite selfish and didn't display the attributes of a servant leader at all. In essence, I was still acting like a single man who only works to meet his own desires and needs. Like most men, I work to provide for my family, however, what we spend our money on is the truest indication of WHY and WHAT we really work for. (Tweet this!) Neglecting the reason why we work hard at making money means we only spend our finances on what we believe it should be spent on rather than having a conversation about how the finances are distributed. I can be completely honest and say that I've made some dumb financial decisions in the past and that was all because complete transparency wasn't there. We weren't both in the loop on how much was coming in and what it was being spent on. Next to infidelity, finances are one of the top things that can end a marriage in divorce so, when it comes to finances it's important there's complete transparency on both parts because if there isn't, it's just a ticking time bomb waiting to explode.   



Do The Opposite    

This would wind anyone up if it was consistently done to them, yet most men slip up on this one all the time. A small example is when I'm just popping out to top up the shopping and she may say something like "You always buy the brown can you not this time. Don't buy brown bread, get white instead!" but all I heard was "...buy the brown bread instead!" Now I'm not sure if this is just my dyslexia consistently kicking in whenever my wife needs to rely on me to do something or whether all men suffer from only listening to the beginning and the very end of sentences, however, I've often found myself in a position where something is required of me but then my brain flips it around and as a result I've not done what was asked of me. It's such a simple thing, but it helps to work on the basics and do them brilliantly. This really leads back to my first point because if you are zoned into what is being said you'll be able to fulfil your wife's needs and desires. We are sometimes left scratching our head trying to figure out why we're not getting praises we think we deserve, however, maybe we just suffer from a curable case of manslexia; a habit of doing the opposite of what's required and expecting praise for it. (Tweet this!) It sounds so basic but if you're anything like me, why not try repeating this to yourself; "What is it that she requires of me? What is it that she definitely DOES NOT require? ONLY DO OR GET WHAT SHE REQUIRES!!!" or even write it in your phone. I'm aware I can be a little caveman-esque sometimes and the methods I deploy can sometimes be a little primitive, however, it's about doing whatever you need to do to get the job done!   



Be A Reactive Leader  

If you're always reactive then you’re always going to be unprepared and this will cause those you lead to lack in confidence yet, this is how I used to lead. As any normal family, my family have experienced its fair share of highs and lows but whatever the altitude, I've always found myself in a position where the situation has been met with my reactive, ill prepared decisions. This meant I’ve not always been as effective as I could have been, due to responding reactively rather than having more of a proactive approach. When I've been in these situations I've allowed the situation to dictate and predetermine my response. This kind of leadership makes it very difficult for those under my care (my wife and my daughter) to feel safe whilst following my lead. An important part of leadership is making other feel safe or even empowered whilst following you. A reactive leader can not breed an environment of safety or empowerment in his home. (Tweet this!) Try and pre-empt the situations you face. Be it work, children or relationship problems, try and be ahead of the game and look further than your current situation. It will be different and unique to each family, but learn HOW to be a proactive leader in your home. This will allow you to be able to manoeuvre around the tricky situations you would normally face (in reactive mode) or make you better equipped to face them when those tough situations come knocking at your door. Remember the situations you and you family face should never determine the tone of how you lead your house. Preparation and vision are key to becoming a proactive leader. Our wives are more often happy to go through tough situations as a family, however, it's can cause great frustration for them when we never see it coming and therefore can not act proactively.    



What do you do that rub your partner up the wrong way? Do you give your wife more attention on Facebook than you do in the real world? I know most women hate that! I guess the most import question of all is, what hacks have you found that help to prevent you from continually doing that really annoying thing over and over again? I know I can't be the only person who can "occasionally" tick off his wife, so, I'd love to hear some of your journeys where you have transitioned from annoying to awesome....almost!    



Let me know your thoughts on this and more importantly, share your story in the comments box below.  



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