Happy Wife Happy Life

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My father always advised that living with a woman is not always going to be the easiest thing to do in life, however, if I ever wanted to be happy and achieve true equilibrium within my marriage and within my home, then I would first have to master the art of doing the things that make my wife happy and focus on creating a happy environment for her. My father always said: "If Mamma's happy, everybody's happy. If Mamma's not happy, ain't nobody happy." One of Dad’s goals was to create a great environment for Mum and doing so meant that happiness filtered down to the rest of the house. He based a lot of his relationship advice to me on this saying. Where did he get this from...? His father maybe? Nope... a fridge magnet.
So how can we take this profound advice (from a fridge magnet) and start proactively working on pleasing our wife? Here are 4 things I've learnt:

Discover Her Interests!

That sounds simple enough, however, most of us men find it difficult to truly understand what our women want. We often go for what we are told "most women" like; chocolate, flowers - even diamonds but this isn't every woman's bag. I have found that the secret to what your woman truly desires can be simply unlocked by the power of LISTENING!!!
Whilst driving back from Bristol to London (over 120 miles), my wife and mother in law made me aware of just how completely in the dark I was about what women ACTUALLY want. After unsuccessfully petitioning my points on the matter, I retreated and reluctantly set my ears to "listening mode" and here's a little secret I learned and it turns out that the secret is much louder than you may have thought!
Have you ever been in a conversation with the Mrs and she says something like "Oh that would be nice to try" or "We should do that sometime"? Well... It turns out that what she's doing there is actually spelling it out for you. LOL! I know, it's crazy, right? I literally can't count a number of times I've been in a conversation with my wife and she has dropped these massive hints that have just gone flying right over my head!
Listen to her hints and try to understand what she likes through observation rather than just coming out and asking her. It turns out that women really like it when you are interested in discovering her interests without having to be told outright. I’m told that it apparently shows a genuine desire to want to get to know her more!

Avoid Monotony

Years ago, I took my then girlfriend, now wife, to this really nice Thai restaurant, just opposite the world famous Harrods in Knightsbridge in London. It was a very romantic, Valentine's dinner date and was probably some of the best Thai food I've tasted in my life. The following year I decided that we would go there again, however, even after searching it on Google, I just could not find this restaurant at all. It was as if the restaurant popped up for that one night of romance and then disappeared. I was forced to make other plans. However, when I told my wife where we would have gone, I could tell from the expression on her face that she was unimpressed. I now know my wife well enough now to know that she would not have been impressed if I could only push my imagination to simply re-visit the same place over and over again just on the basis that she said that she once liked it.
Just because she says she likes it doesn't mean that she wants you to do it all the time. It turns out I've had it all wrong! If you partner says that she likes something, feel free to fulfil that desire of hers but also look at gestures in a similar vein. Push the boat out and take a few calculated risks too! Treat her like a Queen and help her discover new interests that she never thought she'd be in to. It's easy to live like a king when your wife feels like a queen - Click to Tweet this!

Timing Is Key

Right thing + wrong time = wrong thing! Who would've thought that mathematical equations would be applicable to relationship advice??!! But it's true! Doing the right thing at the wrong time will always turn your positive efforts into a negative! We can sometimes be so pleased with ourselves that we have figured out what she really wants only to be bitterly disappointed because we didn't get the response that we thought we would. You may end up with a disheartening response if you are not considerate of your timing. I vividly remember when I was ready to pop the big question but it was like she knew it was coming because whenever I was about to do it she would hint that "whatever I'm thinking... now was not a good time!" Was I that obvious with it?! For the sake of making a point, I guess it's like proposing to your woman on the day of her family member’s funeral because she said that she "always wanted a public proposal." A bit extreme I know but you get my point! If you have the perfect gift, idea or gesture in mind then just be sure to execute it at the right time otherwise your plans and efforts to put a smile on her face may well crash and burn. 

Show Her With Your Actions

I surprised my wife with a trip to Rome for her birthday and safe to say she was blown away - not by the fact that we were in the romantic capital of Italy but that I was actually capable of pulling a trip like this off without her knowing. I'm not going to pretend that I'm the most romantic man on earth and trips like this are an everyday occurrence for us because they’re not. In fact, I’m really bad at gifts ideas and surprises, however, for a few months, my words were few as I secretly planned this surprise trip in an attempt to put the biggest smile on her face for her birthday.
Actions truly do speak louder than words and it's not just about the big gestures. Don't just call her to tell her that you’re missing her today - It's about putting actions over words... get home early and show her that you've missed her! A happy wife doesn't need her husband by her side but loves it when he is. - Click to Tweet this! Don't just accept the fact that you're no good at buying gifts - take a few risks and have a stab at trying to get it right. You'll get it wrong at first but you'll get there if you keep trying. Be a man of action, not words. If you’re willing to serve her with your actions, It's what you DO not what you SAY that's truly remembered. 

 

Conclusion

The goal is to laugh as much as you can with someone you take serious. Some people believe that working on fulfilling your partner’s needs, putting her first and ultimately making her happy means that you neglect your own happiness and this couldn't be any further from the truth. Serving is arguably the biggest part of leadership and when you lead from the front and demonstrate what it looks like to love and care for someone by doing the things that make them happy, it encourages and increases a genuine desire to want to return the gesture. Ultimately, we naturally lean toward treating people as they have treated us (providing it is genuine and without motive). If we are doing our best to pro-actively serve our partners, then they can't help but feel compelled to want to make life easier for us. She will always have your back. When my wife is happy that is when I'm at my happiest. Happiness is being the reason behind your wife's smile. - Click to Tweet this! Work on creating an environment and moments that keep your wife happy and you will surely reap the benefits of that happiness.
Remember this: If you smile at your partner, she is likely to smile back. If you treat her good and make her happy then.... well, you get how it works!

 

If I've added value to my wife's day and she is in a happy mood as a direct result of my actions, I feel like I've accomplished something great and I'm likely to have a great day because of it! How does it make you feel when you make your woman happy? How does it affect you when you don't?

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