EuGene Jordan

EuGene Jordan

This may sound old fashioned but in 2014, I still believe that the idea of bringing a girl to the family house to meet the parents should only be reserved for that special lady. Someone who has made it through the filtering process you've put in place to help you decide whether you'd like to commit to your partner for the long term.

I'm not sure of the benefits that come with the "show and tell approach" however I can say that it does not add to your creditability as a man and it also highlights a slight disinterest for taking the responsibility of being a good role model seriously.

Before bringing a girl home, I would always ask myself a few key questions before considering to send an invite. Some would say 'Dude! You're really over thinking this' but I really don't think I am.

Think about it for a second! Bringing a female home to meet your family is a way for you to demonstrate that you are good at making good choices. My mum always used to say that she was not interested in meeting every girl that me and my brothers wanted to date. She was only interested in getting to really know someone that we are trying to settle down with. So I knew from a young age to only bring someone home if I had serious intentions of a long term commitment as oppose to wasting everyones time and efforts. When you bring a woman home what you are really doing is: 

  1. Getting your family's approval.
  2. Getting them to invest their time to get to know this girl who is of interest to you. 
  3. Demonstrating that you are capable of making good choices.

There are 3 main things that I'd tend to think about before bringing a woman home. It's important that as men we take the time to think and filter independently before placing an expectation on others to do the same on our behalf. 

Here are 3 questions I would often ask myself before concluding as to whether I should introduce a woman to my family or not. 

Why Am I Bringing Her Home?

Why do I want her to meet the family? Do I simply want to inform others of my taste in a woman's physical appearance? Have I really had enough time to evaluate her other qualities or is it all based on sheer aesthetics? Is this serious? Does she live up to my expectation of what I would like my wife to be or is she just a trophy?

Bringing a woman home that does not match up to your long term goals says more about you than you think! It shows off a shallow side to you that would also alert your family members to the fact that you are not quite ready for a serious relationship yet and you do not appear to respect or value your family's time.  

 

What Outcome Do I Expect?

What do I expect to gain from bringing her home? Do I expect her to get along with my family? Do I want to receive approval from my parents?  Or will this just be a respectful introduction to the family as I already know they will not approve of her? Am I expecting a pat on the back, well done or am I hoping that this girl will be able to form her own relationships with key members of my family?

It's important to have an idea of the type of results you are looking for. Knowing this information will add purpose to your actions and help you prep both your girlfriend and family regarding what they should hope to get out of the encounter.

 

Are We Both In The Same Place?

One of the final questions I would think about is... Is she where I'm at? Is she aware of what I want out of the relationship and does she want the same?

There is nothing more awkward than being "grilled" by your family only to reveal that you and your girlfriend have two very different pictures of what your relationship is about. It can send a very confusing message to your family if you have lead them to believe your partner is interested in marriage only to find out that the very thought of the word marriage completely puts her off of her food!  

 

If you or girlfriend only view your relationship as "a bit of fun", I would really ask you to consider why it is so imperative for her to meet the family. 

YOUR THOUGHTS

Should bringing a partner home to meet the family still be a big deal?

Do you have a few more questions that would be handy to add to the filtering process?

Leave a comment and share your thoughts. 

Be Social!

Many people ask me how did I know I was ready for marriage and whilst I didn't have one specific moment where I knew I was absolutely ready to be a husband, I did reach a point where I knew it was time for me to start trying to prepare myself for future roles I'd hoped to take on later in life. 

I think it's very important that you firstly want it for yourself instead of being pressured to respond to ultimatums or peer pressure. If you don't really desire the journey of marriage right now and what it takes to be committed for the long haul, then you'll just be setting yourself up to be dragged all the way through your relationship and I doubt that will produce much enjoyment.

If you're wanting to get married for your own reasons then you'll naturally be willing to ask questions and look for answers. You'll begin to ask more of yourself and look for results, which will make you more inclined to see the purpose of your own personal process of self development. 

Here are a few indicators that helped me to feel more confident in my decision to pursue my (then) girlfriend and start a married life with her.

The Idea Of Making A Lifetime Commitment Became A Goal 

I knew from the age of 16 that one day I wanted to have the ability to commit to one woman for the rest of my life!

By no means did I think this would be an easy task, but I knew in order for me to have a better chance of managing and obtaining this goal in the future, I would have to start actively conditioning my mindset. So at the tender age of 16 I decided to make a conscious effort to start shaping my character.

I was intentional about being completely faithful in relationships. I chose to opt out of friendly flirting opportunities by playing the ignorance card and made girls believe that I was unaware of their attempts, which often reduced their efforts once they realised that I had no intention of feeding into the attention they desired. I would always think to myself; if the shoe was on the other foot how would I feel? I would think; would I be okay knowing that my partner was on the phone talking to a random guy in the early hours of the morning? Probably not!

My ethos was to treat others how I would like to be treated. In preparation for a lifetime commitment with my future wife I decided to "cut off" female friends that did not have my best interests at heart and were only hanging around with ulterior motives.

It may sound extreme to some, however self control is a vital quality for anyone, especially Men who plan to honour their partners faithfully. A wise man once said "A man becomes a king once he learns how to rule himself." 

 

I Was Happy To Make My Future Wife A High Priority

At some point I knew I would have to put my wife before everyone... Including my mum, dad, brothers and sisters.

You have to realise that this was the hardest thing to for me to do. Simply because I come from a family of 8 siblings all from the same mum and dad, which I love dearly and could barley conceive putting anyone before them. The common saying we all tend to hold onto says "blood is thinker than water" however in reality planning to place my family above my wife would be like "cutting my nose off to spite my face" as I would not be sleeping with my family each night. 

I believe it is so important to take the time out to reflect and reassess our priorities when in a committed relationship, because so many of us guys are culprits for thinking that it's ok to put our mother above all others because she gave birth to us. Some mothers even expect their sons to put them before any woman they marry?

The reality is that at some point every man will need to come to the conclusion that if he wants to have a happy marriage, he will need to clearly communicate the level of his wife's importance to his parents, to ensure they are aware of your wish to see her equally respected by the family as she takes a higher level of priority. 

 

I Recognised The Need To Shadow Good Examples

There is nothing wrong with having an idea of how great you want your marriage to be, but don't forget to take a good dose of reality and surround yourself with good men who are not just talking the talk but walking the walk. Find men who will let you shadow them and ask questions as you remain close enough to see a good relationship demonstrated before your very eyes. 

You'll find that there will be things you may wish to adopt for your future marriage or things you may decide to do differently. You tend to grasp a better Idea of what you will realistically strive for the more time you spend around people who are living out their marriage in front of you. 

You may find that your desire to have a conflict free marriage may be a tad unrealistic, whilst learning the importance of how to place a high value on keeping strong lines of communications open to reduce ruptures within the relationship.

On my personal journey my eldest brother opened the doors of his house to me and allowed me to shadow and be around him nearly everyday so I had the luxury of seeing how my brother operated in business, as a husband and a family man. I saw a completely new side to my brother and I will be forever grateful that he allowed me to stay so close under his wing, as it really gave me the opportunity to formulate a picture of the life I wanted to build with my wife.

 

If I could some up when I really knew I was ready for marriage, I would say it was the moment I realised that it all starts with me, making time to develop a character who understands that the journey of marriage will require me to always be developing, reflecting and building with my wife in all sorts of weathers.

Much like training for a marathon, if your mind and character is not ready to constantly shape shift it may be a tough knock to the head trying to wrap your mind around having to become a leader, servant, father, friend, coach, cheerleader, businessman, chef, provider and protector to the best of your ability whilst you constantly learn on the job. Seeing other men deal with their responsibilities will remind you that there are others who have experienced many of the circumstances we will go through and they are alive to tell the tale! You'll remember how you saw others respond and how they solved problems with their partner and kept their love alive.

Whilst I will never be perfect, it was hugely important for me to start working on myself before placing high expectations on anyone else. 

 

YOUR THOUGHTS

Can you ever be ready for marriage?

If so how else can we prepare to be better husbands?

Leave a comment below and share your thoughts.

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We all know a "Romeo", "Casanova" or a "Ladies Man" who has filled many little black books with the names and numbers of his numerous conquests. You've heard his untold stories and may have seen his pictures that reveal the most "prim and proper" girls doing things that are not so prim or proper!

When you're a keen adolescent, these guys really do appear to have super powers, but I'm yet to live long enough to see the long term benefits of this endless acquisition. However what I have been exposed to is a father who met my mother at the age of 8 years old and has been committed to loving her and his 8 children for over 40 years and growing up in that environment made me realise one thing; I Want That! 

Growing up I realised that everyday was not going to be perfect but with love at the core and a commitment to never give up, we have the ability to nurture beautiful things out of life that happens to benefit everyone for the better. The more I gravitated towards this desire for myself, the more disinterested I became with devaluing women to impress friends.  

I Wanted To Set A Good Example

I have always wanted to set a good example for my younger brothers and my sisters. I never wanted my brothers to think that it was ok to be "involved" with a different girl every month and I certainly didn't want my sisters to think that it would be ok for them to be apart of some other guy's long list of women. I also wanted to give my partner a chance to be respected without any preconceived ideas about her based on a string of past girlfriends. 

Warning: I'm about to compare women to food for a second. This is just for the purpose of an example so no hate mail from any women please!! I love women, I love my daughter and I love my wife more than food it self! lol! Now back to the point at hand.

When you go to a restaurant you tend to have to look at the items on the menu, assess the contents and the combination of ingredients that would possibly make up a dish of your preference, before requesting the meal of your choice. Funnily enough, this is my approach to finding a woman!

Yes, there are so many different women that look very appetising, however I like to take the time to assess the ingredients that make up the ensemble, that is 'my choice' of woman. I like to get a rounded feel for a woman's character; her background. her motivation, temper, attitude to life, cooking, motherly skills, how well would she gel with my family? And lastly, I would want to find out if I could see this woman as someone that would be with me for the long run (often referred to as marriage material). Once I can tick those boxes off through conversation, interaction and observation, I'm ready to pursue a relationship with a view to bring her home to meet my family at some point in the near future.

 

I Wanted To Demonstrate My Ability To Make Good Choices

Now, when you bring a woman home to meet the family, what you're really saying is "Look at what I was able to find." in hope that your family will agree with you and affirm your choice of woman.

When we do not take the time to choose a woman responsibly, the message we unfortunately send to our family is, "She looks good, fulfils my physical needs at the moment, but I haven't bothered to find out too much about her. Tell me if you think she is good for anything more long term".

This shows a lack of maturity and lets others know that you do not have your own filtering process that reaches beyond your superficial needs. This is why it was in my wife's best interest that I did not take many women home to meet my family before she had the opportunity to meet them, as it would have been hard for my family to be able to take her seriously on the basis that my past decisions would have given the impression that I wasn't too serious about the women I brought home. So it was very important that I demonstrated my abilty to filter, make good decisions and give my future partner a fighting chance with my parents.

 

I Wanted To Find A Good Thing And Hold On To It!

I reckon that if I gave a woman some money and asked her to pick one item of clothing from the shopping mall her process would look something like this:

  1. She would go to all of her favourite stores first. 
  2. Take a trip to all of the other stores in hope that she just might find a gem that no one may have seen (because not many people visit these stores). 
  3. She would select some of the best items at each store before doing the tour again, just to make sure that she hasn't missed anything. 
  4. A mental list of her top 3 items would be at the forefront of her mind as she makes her way to the first item that caught her eye. If the first item on her mental list is still available she would confidently purchase it feeling secure that she had bought the most suitable item within her budget. If the first item she had in mind was sold out, she would move onto to buy the option number two. 
  5. If what she wants is available by time she has made her final decision, a purchase is made by a very happy customer. 

Now! On the other hand most guys have a shopping trip that looks a lot like this:

  1. Visits the stores that are in his direct path.
  2. Locate the first item that suits him well, with no temptation to look in any further stores.
  3. The purchase is made.

This is no different to my personal approach to finding a woman. I have met many different women, but once I found the right one that had the things that I look for in a woman, I did not need to 
look any further.

 

It Just Gets Messy!

The messy thing about creating a long lists of "has beens" that many guys seem to forget whilst trying to boost their macho creditability is, unlike a receipt of previously bought items, women are not lifeless objects. Women talk a lot, never seem to forget and have emotions. And if you happen to end on bad terms, they can make your future relationships hell to deal with. A man who has a bad reputation with women can also make their partner feel very insecure and a relationship without trust is like a car without petrol.  

In my opinion, it really is not worth the hassel.

 

YOUR THOUGHTS

Do you agree or disagree? 

Leave a comment below and share your thoughts.

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When I say I was the most disciplined child in my house as a kid please rest assure that I do not mean that I was the most well behaved child. I literally mean I was the child who was being disciplined the most. It's true that I was a naughty little child but I have vivid memories of being chastised for my actions within the safety of my parents love. 

Why do I associate my younger years of chastisement with love? Well as an adult I'm aware that there are boundaries within the broader world and within various communities that I will naturally be apart as I journey through life.

However the consequence for over stepping those boundaries will not only affect others negatively within our communities but could have very damaging repercussions for myself and my future. So I believe it's important for a child to be taught how to manage their freedoms, boundaries and their response to the repercussions of their actions within the confines of their parents unconditional love.      

When parents are not the first people to introduce the concept of discipline to their child's life they are often setting their children up for a nasty shock. School teachers will be a lot quicker to enforce concerns, punishment and labels that your child may find very difficult to shake off and the police will be no different.

So it is definitely our responsibility to equip our children with essential life skills and instil enriching characteristics that help to prepare them as best as possible for healthy independent experiences as they mature into adulthood.

As vivid as my memories of receiving chastisement are, it's hard to trace back when this process actually started. If we think about it, the process of being disciplined often starts way before we can even remember it.

Whilst we know the importance of discipline, it can easily become quite pointless if your child is not aware of the purpose of discipline or the process that leads up to their consequence. It's important that we find a way to introduce this concept to our children gradually and that's why it's often better to start this process with your child as young as possible.

By definition, discipline means to train someone to obey rules or a code of behaviour, using punishment to correct disobedience. Unfortunately nowadays I seldom hear of parents enforcing the punishment element of this double sided coin.  

When a parent starts to discipline their child, a few key elements should be put in place to ensure the child understands the reasoning, process and benefit to your actions. 

Test Your Child's Understanding

Testing your child's level of understanding will be a key indicator to whether they need disciplining or simply further training. Without testing your child's understanding, it's impossible to tell whether a child is acting out of disobedience or out of a lack of knowledge. It's important to get a good gage on this as a different approach is required for each situation. 

Give Your Child A Routine 

This is a great way to help instil a sense of pride and responsibility for achieving the tasks you set them, whilst building character within your child. In life there will be an ever growing expectation that will be required of your child and instilling a sense of routine and responsibility will help prepare your child to meet life's expectations 

Implement Boundaries And Consequences

However you look at it, one way or another your children WILL be disciplined. Whether it's by the educational system, a random guy on the street or (most likely) the Police.

This why following through with the consequences you have put in place is one of the best things you can do for your child. Your ability to do this can develop your child into an adult who responds well to rules, with the capability to become a positive contribution to the world that they live in. 

 

YOUR THOUGHTS

Can discipline start within the first year of a child's life?

What did discipline look like when you were a child and how does it differ to what you do now?

Be Social!

The moment we decide to play an active part in our child's life, it doesn't take long before we begin to understand the need to be involved in a variety of ways, over the course of our child's development.  

However for some, this realisation can feel daunting, unrealistic and overwhelming, which can often cloud the immense reward of taking on the full role of a father.  

So where do we start? What boxes are there to tick? (I hear you say). 

Well, I think the most genuine place to start would be the heart. We know that love is a doing word, so by choosing to do nothing you immediately begin to communicate a clear message of apathy for your child. If a father operates out of love, it would be fair to say that any true expression of that love would be revealed in our actions.  

Let's look at how a father can play an intentional role in the lives of his children. 

 

Love 

Love with your time 

In the words of Richard Branson "Time is how you spend your love". 

We spend our time on the things or people we value the most. Some may argue out of guilt that the statement is untrue and to that I'd ask you to consider this, if we were to spend more time with people or things we value least are we not just wasting our time (often with selfish justification)? 

'Spending your love' on your children may not always come with ease and that's usually because it costs us. It costs us our time, our energy and our self! You see, our love will cause us to allocate the time for our children, create availability, but we often take the final task of filling that space for granted. 

So many of us get to the first hurdle of making time, but begin to wilt and wither when it comes to filling that time sufficiently. This often results in you being in the same room sleeping, whilst the kids are watching the tv or using your time with the children to take them to see someone else (why do we do this)!? 

The most sufficient way to fill a space you've purchased with love, is to fill it with your presence. Spending time with your children without being on auto pilot is worth more to them than you can imagine and no material gift will ever substitute that. 

Children are influenced the most by those who invest the most time into them, so make the time you share with your children count for you and for them. Why not play games you can both engage in or teach them something new, you can even share with them old stories that reveal more about you. Each golden nugget in your moments together let your children know just how important they are to you. 

Love with Commitment 

As we know, a child's life is not a play. We don't get to pick the scenes we want to make an appearance in, so that we can see our name in the credits. If we chose to adopt this approach towards the life of our child, we'd be deluding ourselves into thinking that loving your child is a matter of convenience, which is simply not true. 

The uncomfortable truth is that a selfless commitment to loving your child, will often inconvenience many of the luxury engagements that may have existed before fatherhood. 

In the transition of becoming a father many of us find ourselves trying to compare our wants with the needs of the child, when to be honest there is no comparison as they are in two completely different categories. Feel free to compare your wants and prioritise them accordingly, just be aware that a need (a necessity) will surpass them all, especially the needs of a dependant child (0-18year old).  

Acknowledging that children are dependent and need us in a variety of ways to help them develop into independent individuals, leaves us with a critical choice. Are we going to be the ones to supply those needs throughout the course of their life or will we deprive them, steering them on a vulnerable pursuit to appoint anybody willing to remotely meet those paternal needs (at their own risk). 

It's about asking ourselves the right questions, like... What is my significance to my child? What will that require of me?  

We soon find that it has less to do with being santa clause and becomes more about the consistent level of dedication, being there for our children in the many different forms that relates to, as a true labor of love over the course of their life. 

Love with patience 

One of the hardest things to deal with when giving your absolute best to someone is reciprocation. It can get frustrating when you've shown your child something twenty times and they wake up the next day as if they have no recollection of the time you have spent together, making the same mistake all over again. It can also be hard when trying to repair a relationship with your child (as they get older) whilst all they recognise you for is your financial benefits. 

But remember, as a mature adult and father you'll have the insightful gift of foresight. You'll know exactly how beneficial the character traits you're trying to develop will be in helping your child reach their full potential and you will know the value of having a two way unconditional relationship with your child as they move into adulthood. So with this knowledge in mind, it's important that we remain persistent as it expresses the importance of not only our actions but the need for the child to respond accordingly. 

In reality, the process of loving with patience will probably be more of a challenge for us than anyone else. It will challenge our emotions, our ability to remain disciplined and well tempered in our perseverance, as we keep the end goal in mind. 

The purpose of our endeavours is not to prove an insecure need to be heard, but rather to ensure that the child grasps the true value of what you have taken the time to communicate, with the intention of engrafting the skills, characteristics and words of wisdom you have given them into the fabric of who they are. 

Outside of the father-child bubble, you know that each day there is someone who has been patient with your short comings and this very fact should give you the ability to extend grace to your child through their learning process. 

Love with transparency 

Every father wants to be their child's hero, but what does it mean to be a hero? The common image that father's often portray and subsequently ascribe to, often ends up sounding a lot like a magician! 

Let's briefly look at a few of the characteristics of a magician: 

Methodical, introvert, creative, intelligent, studious, self disciplined, spiritual and specialised. 

Most importantly a magician is empowered by the mastery of secret knowledge. Ever notice that as a child you'd start off with the question "Dad... How did you do that?" and as you get older the question slightly changes to "Dad... How do you know that?", then you end up asking yourself later in life "Why can't I do that?". Dad's tend to keep a lot of mystery around their knowledge, as if to imply that "dad is knowledge". 

My brother once said to me "Dad is my google" and with that said I can safely say that my dad succeeded in his mastery of secret knowledge. 

You also may notice that when watching a magician at work you'll only tend see one person giving out the orders, and that will be the magician himself. He has a handy assistant who moves to his every command and you'll rarely see him challenged by another man during his shows (similar to a father in his house). 

Am I saying all fathers are magicians? Of course not, but I have observed that many fathers are more aligned to the mystery and entertainment value of a magician than revealing the more courageous, adventurous and selfless attributes of a hero.  

We only know the strength of a hero by the size of the challenges and obstacles he overcomes. They wow us because whether they've had to face their kryptonite or been left for dead, dripping with blood, they're still willing to persevere for a greater cause. What is the moral to your story? Whilst children are busy learning about everything else, what can they directly learn from your life? 

Love your children enough to show them your scars, your failures as well as your successes because despite what has happened to you, you're still here to tell the tale. The great thing is that you can help your children use your transparency to navigate around your stumbling blocks. In order for our children to exceed us we need to love them enough to present ourselves to them in a balanced proportion, because without transparency we can appear either very self righteous or like a mystical, magical character that has lost touch with reality. 

Serve 

As soon as your baby is born an instinctual duty to serve your child comes over you, which would make perfect sense as the baby can't do a thing for it's self (so somebody's got to volunteer!). Whether you have absolutely no clue what to do or you're fairly confident because you've changed a few nappies, after becoming a father there is an instant memo we receive (don't ask me how) that reads "Your baby needs you!". 

If you receive this memo unexpectedly, it will hit you like a tone of bricks! Questions begin to occur such as; can I even look after myself yet? Am I really ready for this? If you've found yourself asking these questions you can rest assure. You may have more in common with your baby than you think, as I'm sure many babies have asked themselves these questions at some point (well probably not, but they're about as ready as you are). 

The only (huge) difference is, it turns out that we can all look after ourselves pretty well when compared to a helpless baby, which means we're more prepared naturally than we care to think. 

The truth is, your baby does need you and if you choose not to run from that call and embrace fatherhood, you'll begin to journey on a self development process geared around trying to serve and enable your child to the best of your ability. 

Teach 

We're always teaching, in every response we make we affirm exactly how we wish to be treated and this is no different with parenting. 

If we choose to take on the sole role of the fun weekend dad or the "great jester", we often miss out on building a unique mentor and mentee relationship where you can enable your child to tackle each stage of life's challenges within the supportive environment of a father-child bond. 

Am I saying all dads should be boring? No way! What I am saying is, having fun with your child becomes a lot more rewarding once we begin to adopt a more intentional approach when engaging with them. Deciding to play games with your five month old baby that strengthens their legs and increases their balance can still be fun, but I can guarantee that the moment that child walks you'll feel strongly connected to your child's sense of achievement. You'll remember all the events leading up to that walk, because you were a part of that development process. Over the course of you teaching your child to walk you will have built trust, taught your child the value in persistence and communicated the safety that is found in your presence. Teaching our child with a mentoring approach sets the foundation for one of the most powerful relationships we can ever build with our child for effective influence.  

In serving your child you want to encourage a thirst for learning. We can achieve this by removing their blanket of complacency as there is always something new to learn. Once your child reaches a mile stone, you can teach them to value their newly acquired knowledge by showing them how to use their new skills to overcome their next challenge. Another way of removing complacency is to let your child know what's next. For instance you may say to your child "once you get confident with your greeting and a strong hand shake, you'll be able to introduce yourself to anyone!" this helps to build more attention and interest for the task at hand whilst they eagerly anticipate putting what you have taught them into practice. 

We are our child's number one life teacher and in being dedicated to serving them in this way, we enrich their character, teach them how to be great learners, problem solvers and leaders. When we choose to be absent from this process we almost teach them the exact opposite; learning is boring, answers are not found within the home and fulfilment will be found in their pursuit for acceptance. 

Whether you are teaching your child to look people in the eye when speaking to them, how to respond to instruction or what a loving husband looks like, continue to take the time to feed them with those essential lessons of life. As the saying goes "one good father is worth more that a hundred teachers". 

Coach 

The opportunity to be your child's first teacher gave you the chance to see their potential first hand and this is key information for the relationship between you both. Why? Well, because not everyone may understand your child or recognise their ability. It can also be very damaging for a child to be pigeon holed or made to feel like they are incapable of achieving a task by people who only know them within a confined setting. 

This is where it becomes so important to have a supportive dad who can be their champion. You're child may not be an angel but through your time of being present in their life, loving and teaching them, you are now one of the very few people who know your child in their entirety. You know the difference between when they are being lazy and when they are sincerely trying. You know how they learn best and when they become disengaged. This type of information will allow you to not only express how capable your child is but it enables you to help provide information or solutions that may play an instrumental role in helping others encourage the best out of your child. 

Having a champion who flies your flag, believes you can achieve and stands as your representative with your well being at heart often prevents our children from being a vulnerable target of victimisation and can at times give you the opportunity to play a part of mediation, offering understanding and enlightenment to the questions at hand whilst committing to the further development of your child. 

Sometimes it helps to be a proactive champion. Something as simple as telling a teacher your child is a visual learner, may save both your child and the teach a term of trail and error. 

Funnily enough, being a good advocate for your child gives you a bit of a boost! It makes you feel like you're right at the frontline, rooting for your child whilst on your tip toes waiting to dive in if needed. But as a coach (another hat you wear as a father), being your child's champion is really only a slice of the pie.  

Coaching your child is primarily about helping to develop their ability to perform what they know or a talent they possess to the best of their capability. 

Often, fathers see their relationship with their child blossom as the child grows into adolescence and adulthood. Some fathers even see this as the time to get involved in preparing their children for the "real world." In truth, fathers don't need to wait until their children are becoming adults in order to teach them important life lessons. Fathers can provide moral guidance and practical lessons all the way through their child's life. This kind of involvement strengthens the father-child relationship. Involvement helps build an ongoing partnership between father and child. Most importantly, through our influence on many areas of our child's life, we can one day teach our child how to be a parent. 

 

Provide 

In summary, I believe our sole purpose as a father is to provide. 

Provide love, stability, guidance, sustenance, protection, mentorship and most importantly an example (along with many other things). In all these areas we should seek to provide them with care and consistency, as we commit to walking our children through the most essential years of their life (from birth to adulthood).  

I personally aim to build upon the template of fatherhood that my father laid out for me and I hope my children will do the same. 

Just one decision to commit your life to the betterment of your child can actually benefit your world as you know it! 

It sounds a little far fetched but just think about it for a moment. Being present and fulfilling our role as a father can keep children off the streets, protect children from being mislabeled, mistreated, misguided and keep our children focused on developing themselves and their talents. Our commitment also helps to build more positive contributors to society (reducing crime), our presence builds safer communities and our examples leave a template for future generations to build upon.  

This role is an invaluable role that cannot be merely defined by a biological connection.

 

YOUR THOUGHTS

Do you agree or disagree?

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